You sit there. She is screaming. You feel physical pain in your heart and stomach hearing her crying. You feel that you tried everything. It makes you feel angry, panicked, worried. You have not slept for weeks.
You rocked, you walked, you had a shower, you switched on the vacuum cleaner, you gave pain killer, you changed the clothes, you fed, you sang, you cried, you smiled, you left, you came back.... nothing helped. She does not sleep. She cries a lot. She is unhappy.
You are unhappy.
You are full of emotions, mainly frustration. You are powerless. You feel useless. You feel that you failed. You feel lost and helpless. Then you feel angry, you cannot control this situation and it makes you upset. You lost control.
You shake her or you yell at her. It is just becoming worse. Now you feel even worse. Guilt is now with you for ever.
You then change again. You lose all your empathy. You lose your interest. You do not want to help any more. You do not know how to. You lost this battle.
You lost your power to fight. You give up.
It is not your fault.
It is not. Really not your fault.
Give yourself a hug and dry up your tears. There is solution. There is a chance to change this. It is in you.
Talk to the GP to see if your baby is healthy. Try to learn more about babies sleep cycles. Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night as most people believe. Ask yourself whether your expectations are realistic? Ask others if they went through this ever before? Ask and search for gentle, no-cry solutions like calming techniques, slinging, relaxation, meditation, yoga, reflexology or whatever suits you best.
It is not your fault. You are a good mother. You love your baby and you want the best for her. Make sure that she knows this. You are definitely not a failure as you might feel at the moment.
When you hear from everywhere that you cannot leave your baby to cry then you truly feel powerless when you have no tools or solutions at hand and you feel pressured. I say it, too, do not leave your baby helplessly crying, but do not try to stop the crying. It is just a communication channel that your baby uses to let you know that something is wrong. Let your baby know that you are there, you want to help, she can trust you. And try to find out the reason of the cries. Then the crying will stop.
You will know the answer, trust yourself, put yourself in charge and do only what is truly right for you and for your baby in short term as well as in long term. Get your mummy power back.
Mariann Hornyák
You are unhappy.
You are full of emotions, mainly frustration. You are powerless. You feel useless. You feel that you failed. You feel lost and helpless. Then you feel angry, you cannot control this situation and it makes you upset. You lost control.
You shake her or you yell at her. It is just becoming worse. Now you feel even worse. Guilt is now with you for ever.
You then change again. You lose all your empathy. You lose your interest. You do not want to help any more. You do not know how to. You lost this battle.
You lost your power to fight. You give up.
It is not your fault.
It is not. Really not your fault.
Give yourself a hug and dry up your tears. There is solution. There is a chance to change this. It is in you.
Talk to the GP to see if your baby is healthy. Try to learn more about babies sleep cycles. Babies are not supposed to sleep through the night as most people believe. Ask yourself whether your expectations are realistic? Ask others if they went through this ever before? Ask and search for gentle, no-cry solutions like calming techniques, slinging, relaxation, meditation, yoga, reflexology or whatever suits you best.
It is not your fault. You are a good mother. You love your baby and you want the best for her. Make sure that she knows this. You are definitely not a failure as you might feel at the moment.
When you hear from everywhere that you cannot leave your baby to cry then you truly feel powerless when you have no tools or solutions at hand and you feel pressured. I say it, too, do not leave your baby helplessly crying, but do not try to stop the crying. It is just a communication channel that your baby uses to let you know that something is wrong. Let your baby know that you are there, you want to help, she can trust you. And try to find out the reason of the cries. Then the crying will stop.
You will know the answer, trust yourself, put yourself in charge and do only what is truly right for you and for your baby in short term as well as in long term. Get your mummy power back.
Mariann Hornyák