I was so connected to him, I have been missing him ever since he was taken to the hospital.
We, kids, were not allowed to visit, nor to present when they were dealing with the funeral. We were just sent outside to play.
I have never said Goodbye to him. And it hurts. I lost many other loved ones, but this one hurts the most. Even today.
A few days ago, my mum told me that Nana was diagnosed with cancer and suddenly she stopped eating and drinking. She is not going to make it before I could fly there to see her. It makes me sad. Very sad.
However, I thought I must share my feelings with my son. He must learn about death. He is 2,5 years old but very bright and mature. So, this is the way how I chose to tell him what is going to happen.
"Great-grandma is very sick and she is going to leave us. You will not be able to play with her next time we visit Grandma." - I started.
"Where is she going to?" - he asked.
"She will go back to the angels. This is how life works. Before we are born, we live in the heaven, up high, far beyond the clouds. Then we come into mummy's belly, like your little sibling has just come to my belly not so long ago. And we are born when we are ready. We grow into such a great little kid, like you are now and then big kid, we are just growing, growing, we grow so big as daddy or me. And soon we get older and older. And when our body is too tired and too ill, we leave the body and we go back to the angels. Once we find a reason to come back, we are born again."
"Why do we get old? What is old?" - he asked.
"Old is, when we have lived so long and have done so many things that we feel that we cannot do much more."
"You are not old, mummy." - he stated.
"No, I am not old yet. I have lots of things to do, I must cuddle you so much and teach you many things."
"Great-grandma is old. She will go back to the angels. Can I meet her again?"
"You will see her if you look up the night sky and we will remember her forever."
"I want to cuddle her."
"I hope we will. I hope she will have time to wait for us. If not now, we might meet her again when she is born again."